It is amazing how something can stay hidden in plain sight. How nothing exists perhaps till you turn towards it and shine the light of your attention on it. I have said before that I only first paid any heed to death rituals when my mother passed away. Since then, there has been a further deepening of awareness how meticulous this land, this Bharat has been in dealing with its dead.
The dead are dead, you may say; better to turn our energies towards the living, you may insist. You’re right, but there is no dichotomy. Catering to the dead also takes care of the living. You are both assisting the disembodied as well as giving your own life ample room to maneuver and express itself.
Yesterday was Mahalaya Amavasya – a phrase I have been hearing for most of my life without knowing the significance of. We have so many festivals and special days in our culture, it seemed just one of those things elders made a grand fuss about. Plus, a somewhat morbid concept – a fortnight to address the needs of pitrus… generations of dead ancestors who lived centuries ago. We don’t even remember their names – what then is the need to make such a shoo-sha about offering them balls of rice and sesame? Wasteful symbolisms! Doubtless this must’ve been the frame of mind that prevented me from even observing this rite with the consideration it deserved.
Sadhguru says, “Your body carries trillion times more memory than your conscious mind. Will you remember your great-great-great-grandfather? You don't, but his nose is sitting on your face because your body remembers. Your body remembers how your forefathers were a million years ago.” I now dimly understand that we are a continuum. The latest but not the last in a series of pop-up lives on this planet. Pitru Paksha is a way of paying homage to those who came before us, and it is also a way of distancing the influence of these pitrus over our lives – loosening, in a way, their genetic hold over ourselves, so that we may live free-er and fuller lives.
In recent years, Sadhguru has been paying inordinate attention to this aspect. His book on Death is an explosive one, a revealing treatise on a range of aspects that were hitherto veiled. Also, I have been thinking a lot about Kashi, the maha smashana, where death rituals are a way of life. [Of course, any excuse to remember Kashi will do. When can I go back there, I wonder?]
Yesterday, around midnight at the Isha Yoga Center, there was a rather magnificent ceremony – they’ve done it for years but the scale this year was a bit grander. This was in preparation perhaps for the Kala Bhairava deity that my Guru is in the process of consecrating.
Some pictures:
(Pics: LingaBhairavi.org)
5 comments:
Why does Sadguru say that the Pitru Paksha rituals are also a way of distancing the influence of our pitrus over our lives? Can they really ever be distanced from them?
I was reminded of an incident that I read in Paramahamsa Yogananda's "Autobiography of an Yogi".
I may miss some details, for I am relying on my memory, as I write this- This incident happened after he met his Guru in Kolkota, Swami Sri Yukteswar Giri. Paramahamsa Yogananda had always been drawn to a spiritual life as a child, and had run away from home on numerous occasions to travel to the Himalayas, in search of a Guru. His mother, pained by his antics, extracted a promise from him that he would do no such thing again and would only contemplate renunciation after he completed his 10th standard.
He struggled and managed to pass his exams some years later. I think his mother passed away around this time. He missed her and now thought he was free to do what he wanted to. He searched for a Guru in the Himalayas and ultimately found his Guru, right on a busy Kolkota street one day- an interesting episode, about which if I write here, I will only digress.
Later, as his Guru gave him deeksha and tried to get him to meditate, Paramahamsa Yogananda somehow could not do it. His lately deceased mother's memory bothered him. Noting this, his Guru Swami Sri Yukteswar Giri tapped his forehead lightly when he tried to meditate. Instantly, the disciple found himself facing thousands of women looking at him very kindly. There was no word spoken, no discussion, but the message to the young shishya was very clear - "Which mother are you grieving?".
In that split scond the young renuciate realised that the bonds that bind us, are beyond many lifetimes with different souls. He had no memory of those other mothers- though he sensed their maternal love in that fleeting moment, but they had nurtured and cared for him as dearly as his mother had in this lifetime. Once he was back on the earthly plane, he could follow his Guru's instructions with ease and move ahead.
That's the reason why I asked the question, I asked in the beginning. Can we ever distance ourselves from our bonds with numerous pitrus of scores or millions(?) of lifetimes?
And there's a related question to this- maybe you can ask Sadguru about this as well, when you get the occasion : What about the "non-human" mothers and fathers that each soul may have also been born to? Why should we as humans only think of our 'human" ancestors. Don't these souls too play a part in every soul's journey?
I meant - "Can we really ever be distanced from them?" in the first paragraph.
Sharad,
I understand that the body is a fount of memory: apart from the conscious aspect, there are also unconscious levels. There is evolutionary memory, genetic memory, karmic memory, articulate and inarticulate levels of memories also.
The karmas that we do for the dead, as I understand it, a way of dealing with genetic memory so that it does not cling to us quite so closely – that it can be of use rather than a trap. For instance, when someone takes brahmacharya, they perform karmas for their parents, even if they happen to be alive – a way of severing the genetic connection. I assume this means the genetics of the lifetime you are currently living – you have a different set for each life, after all. I don’t know how much of it sticks on though. Gah.
About your question of non-human parents – that had never occurred to me! We are said to carry memories of every life, in every form that we have lived, of course – the memory is staggering. But I have heard Sadhguru say that you don’t need to dissolve everything, just be able to put the bundle aside.
Perhaps you can ask Sadhguru that question yourself :) – add #AskSadhguru to your question on the Sadhguru FB page.
PS. Autobiography of a Yogi is a fascinating account – I have read part of it, you inspire me to pick it up again.
Maybe, I understand what Sadguru means when he says "you don’t need to dissolve everything, just be able to put the bundle aside".
The constant need, among some, to examine everything that happens in life -- especially things that trouble us emotionally, financially, in relatonships etc. and the desire to seek solutions for a 'bad' karma, pitradosha, or 'maleficent' stars and planets - things that people are prone to ascribe these happenings to, is too heavy a bundle to carry. The desire to propitiate and possibly 'escape' destiny's long arm can be debilitating, and can be seen as a "trap". Or, shraddha and other ceremonies can be simply seen as a way of giving ancestors their due.
For those taking bhramacharya, the step of performing tarpana/ tarpanam or obsequies of the living is, as you know, an important step in severing all bonds with the present life. No wonder the shishya gets a new name as though he or she is reborn. This is an important step, for the ego, the desire to cling to material possessions, filial cares will otherwise not help the spiritual aspirant who has decided to renounce worldly life.
Does this mean people who don't take bhramacharya, who live with families in the midst of worldly cares, can never hope to progress on the spiritual path?
Our traditions don't hold this to be true and numerous stories, lives of people support this idea. The story of Narada discovering Vishnu's biggest devotee, a simple householder; as given in the Vishnu Purana, is one example. King Janaka of the Ramayana, was sought by many sages of those times to understand subtle, obscure passages, whose meanings eluded them and his life and conduct helped them understand these passages. We have examples from the lives of Sant Tukaram, Sant Eknath, Shri Ramakrishna Paramahamsa, Shri Lahiri Mahasaya and many other 'householders' who were at par with those who had renounced the world.
So, my point with all this, is that the connection with our pitras, our filial ties need not be a hindrance if we lead our lives accordingly. But, yes, this is not easy as we all realise. It is like "walking on the razor's edge". Ordinary folks like us cannot be like those who could discriminate and live their lives accordingly.
Thanks for the FB suggestion. Let me see, if I can ask it there, but would be good if someone asks in his presence. It is easier to explain, expound at depth when discussing.
Sharad, sorry for the late response.
You say:
Does this mean people who don't take brahmacharya, who live with families in the midst of worldly cares, can never hope to progress on the spiritual path?
No, not at all! Brahmacharya is certainly a fast track, a drastic path, if you will. But we are told that no human is exempt from the seeking process or indeed liberation if the search is earnest. My Guru himself is a grihasta and bar Adiyogi himself, you will not find a more profound authority on the Yogic Sciences than Sadhguru.
Sadhguru has spoken about this at various points. Just a couple of links:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qMryd4gurQk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UfawEz78kUE
In fact recently Sadhguru came out with a book Death: The Inside Story. Do read it – you’ll be riveted by the revelations he makes. It’s available here: https://www.amazon.in/Death-Inside-Story-those-shall/dp/0143450832
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